Missing William

I sat there for what felt like an eternity. Scribbling on my paper glancing back and forth to try to stop the tears. I wanted to put my fingers in my ears so I couldn't hear her. She was speaking my worst nightmare.
Her report was childbirth. She included when things go wrong and I KNEW the minute she begin to read that I was too raw to take it.
At school I need to be someone different. I don't want to carry William or even my living boys with me. I need to focus on what I am suppose to learn not relive my worst nightmare or think like Radonna the Mommy.
I am 31 years old. I feel TOO old to be there, Too different than everyone else. It is like High school all over again except this time I am not made to wear a dress.
This time I thought I could blend in. This time I thought that I was brave enough and had faced enough hard ship that NOTHING could shake me. BOY was I wrong. I am shaken. I want to quit.