What do I know for sure. I know that I don't need to make sense of my life to be happy.
I can accept that I will never have a relationship with my Dad. I can accept that My Mom will never accept that I am not Pentecostal. I know those things and have put them away. How come they still come up from time to time.
My Mom blames genetics (not hers) that I am so different.
I blame life experiances. (Genetics would give Ray too much credit)
Do I care that he hates me. Not really. I couldn't fit his ideal of a daughter any more than I fit into the little box Mom wanted me in.
Good thing I am not defined by my relationship to those that happen to be my parents
I am defined by being a Mother. I redefine what I want my life to be. My choice. My life. My children. MINE. PERFECT not hardly but unique and beautiful and MINE.
Radonna
1 comment:
i started writing after watching my mother die. i needed a place to start. a place to sort it all out and make sense of it. we experience loss in so many ways. it's not always the physical seperation that hurts the most. in my case i felt a spiritual abandonment. when i needed god the most i didn't feel his presence. isn't he supposed to be the "ever present help and comfort.". it's what i deal with everyday. i am shamefully aware of my lack of faith.
your blog is for you but your words are comfort to others. thank you.
if you're ever interested in a new friend, send me a line.
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